could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
