I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
