I accidentally burped into my bong.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
