Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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