For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
