I think my vagina is haunted
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
operation harelip BJ is a go
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
