I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
