i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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