In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
