Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
