Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
