everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
