It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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