the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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