hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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