As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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