I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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