I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
