hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
