Whod you bang
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
