he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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