K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
