i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
