hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
