dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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