come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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