Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
