I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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