i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
