Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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