Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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