When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
