She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize