whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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