she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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