I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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