is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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