i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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