Don't make out with my wife yet
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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