so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
