alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
His nipple licking is glorious
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