im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
we're so committed to being not committed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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