I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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