And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
how does that bad decision feel?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
