So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
