Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
