I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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