I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
