Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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