just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
