he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think my nap took me to another dimension
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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