he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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