PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
