I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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