Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
