I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
