Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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