I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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